Iggy and the Stooges' ønskeliste (rider)

4 X MARSHALL 1960 B 4 X12 CABINETS ( 4 x STRAIGHT B type cabs).
That's a shame, isn't it? If they were all straight A's, the whole stack would have qualified for a scholarship to go to Oxford University. Still, their loss, our gain/master volume.
1 x 4-6 SPACE GUITAR RACK I've just been handed a note by Chris that says
"re: guitar stands / rack
i love the multi-guitar rack
when there's plenty of room for one
in my side-stage guitar world/banjo hamlet
otherwise, I only really need (3) three
of those crappy broken
unstable unlockable
rubber-feet-missing guitar stands
that is if we can't get the rack."<
(He really does write like that. Sweet isn't it?
Anyway, there you have it - straight from the horse's mouth. I'm not saying Chris is a horse, naturally.
Actually that would make quite an interesting fight, wouldn't it - Horse v Panda? I think the panda might just win it if he managed to get on the horse's back and sink his teeth and claws into its neck. Without getting kicked in the bollocks, of course. Two hooves in a Panda's gonads would probably bring victory to the horse, though I doubt it would celebrate much. Horses arent big champagne drinkers.
And fucking Grand Prix drivers just squirt it all over each other.
Cunts.

We need: one (1) monitor man who speaks good English and is not afraid of death.
{Only joking.... or am I?}.


Also, he needs to know a little bit about monitors. This may seem a little obvious, but believe me....
(For example, in Santiago de Compostela, in Galicia in Northern Spain, they appear to think - if they just ignore riders like this, then supply a fat, bearded, ignorant hippy with a digital monitor desk (doh!) who doesn't know shit about eq-ing, and monitor wedges that would be better suited to wedging doors open, and a load of stage managers and PA geezers and promoters reps who shout a lot - that this is the same as actually providingwhat the band needs in order to do a gig to the best of their ability. And that if they deny that their gear is no good, it will suddenly, mysteriously, become good.
IWell I would just like to say that the next time the Stooges get booked for their festival, I'm going to turn up with some pickled eggs, a small blue vibrator with a jelly dolphin balanced on the shaft, a set of dog-eared encyclopedias with the volume E-G missing, and a screwdriver that's been accidentally dropped in a lavatory
And then, when they say, "That's not the Stooges",
I'm going to say, "Yes it is!"
And then they'll say "No it isn't".
And I'm going to say, "Yes it IS!!!"
See how they like it, the fuckers!

On the next pages you will find a stage plan and channel list. Isn't it exciting? I bet you're glad you decided on a career in the music business now...

We do not have a lighting designer, or lighting person of any kind.
We had a lighting designer once, but he went mad, so we shot him. It was the kindest thing.

Oh, and a lighting person who could just set a scene at the beginning of a song, then sit on his hands until the start of the next song . I know that this seems like a tall order when most LDs suffer from some sort of nervous disorder that won't permit their hands to stay still for longer than 8 milliseconds, but honestly, that's what we would be happiest with. Maybe we could get somebody to sit next to the LD with a big stick, then if they looked like they were going to "do lighting" halfway through a number - WHAMMO!!! broken desk, broken fingers.

At a wet festival somewhere i once saw a guitarist being followed all over the stage by a cameraman and sidekick all covered, in bright flourescent plastic sheeting, including the camera It looked like he was being stalked by a demented pantomime horse! I personally thought it looked absolutely terrible, and I speak as someone who believes that most rock and roll bands woulld be improved by the introduction of a pantomime horse.
Take the Rolling Stones as an example.; if you could guarantee that there was going to be a pantomime horse, it' would be almost worth going to one of their concerts.

Maybe we could get somebody to sit next to the LD with a big stick, then if they looked like they were going to "do lighting" halfway through a number - WHAMMO!!! broken desk, broken fingers.

2 X HEAVY DUTY STRAIGHT CYMBAL STANDS. But we are equal opportunity employers, so gay stands may apply also. (They won't get the fucking job, though...)

Hello everybody. This is a short message to TV companies, Video makers, Photographers and Media Types in general.
Now don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for people in the communications industry, in fact my ancestors have a particularly strong historical link with the Postal Service, as someone once threw a television repairlman at my mother.
However in recent years, and I'm sure you'll agree with me on this one, there has been an explosion in the number of, shall we say, persons blessed by the Good Lord with a complete absence of talent, attempting to force their way, by any means necessary, into the public eye. Hand in hand with this, I'm afraid to say, has come a massive increase in the amount of production companies willing to massage the over-large egos of these unfortunate individuals, and to allow them the airtime they crave. It's got to a point where there are companies who assume that everyone who walks onto a stage is a desperate, attention-seeking moron, who will put up with any amount of intrusion just to get themselves a little footage.
I have to say that The Stooges are not those guys!
Media attention - GOOD! Interfering with performance - BAD!

Fly-on-the-wall, lovey, think fly-on-the-wall. It's just a gig. Nobody's going to get an Oscar for Best Camerawork. And that's it, really.
Oh yes, and Iggy adores breaking cameras. Did I mention that??
So really it's best not to get too close to him. Especially if he looks at you in a funny way.
And cameramen - if he heads towards you looking like he's about to grab the camera - he's probably about to grab the camera. It's a sort of clue...
Of course, I will be on hand to try and prevent him from destroying your equipment; unfortunately, there is only one person I can think of who likes to break cameras more than Iggy does, and that's ME...